Ask Miss Sunshine 12/12/2012

Mah mommy keeps talking about "getting a foster". I see that you sometime
have "fosters" at your house.. Does this mean mah mommy doesn't love me
anymore? -- Phil

 

Phil mah fwreind!

Fosters are compucated! We habs our first realz one and she iz knot a greyhoundie likes us! I dont eben fink she's a puppy. Sounds like a piggy to me. Habents hears her sqeual yets dow... Da most important fing iz dat they are knot stay foreber! Only bisiting. Dey may chews your toys, but your Momma will gets you noo ones iffen dat happens. Dey may steals your foods, but your Momma wills gets you mo iffen dat happens.

Yours suposed to be bery polite and nices ta da fosters. Dey don't know hows to libes in a homes and dey dontt habs a momma ta takes care obs dem. Dey don't habs da manners dat friend houndies habs. Iffen it's too much fo yous you can hides on da Momma's bed to gets away.  In a little whiles da fosters learn some manners and it's not as horribles. Yous just habs to be polites and a gud examples ob manners until da foster finds a foreber homes. Every puppy deserves a warm safes homes with lots of toys and snuggles.

Remebers yous Momma still lubs yous! Dat foster will go to their homes eventually....

Sunshine Says 11/7/2012

Tommy would like to know if you've found his clue? He seems to have lost it somewhere. Sometimes he leaves it in the other room and whines hoping it will catch up to him. Most of the time Mommy will find it and give it back to him. Daddy, on the other hand, just laughs at him! Its really frustrating when you haven't a clue as to where you left your clue!

Tommy Mah fwiend!

Lifes ez so much more funs wifout a clues. Clues bring da stress ob da knowledge. Dats why mah Momma is always so stressed and she needs us ta makes her laufs. I says yous should abandon yours clue! Jus set it fwee and welax... Wen yous habs no clues you can concentrates on being cuters and da humans will gibs mo cookies. Afterall life iz all about da cookies!

Keeps gettin dose cookies

your fwiend Sunshine

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Sunshine Says 10/10/2012

Iggy Styx wants to know why Mommy and Daddy scream “bloody murder” and jump up and down as I scooter my butt accross their clean sheets? Afterall, a Greyhound, even an Italian one such as me must express his or her anal glands somehows!

Styx mah fwiends! Our fat kitty does des. Ares yous twying to be a kitty? Mah bigs sister Rainy used to haves anal gland booboos wen she habs da sad belly from allergies. Iffen yous don't habs allergies, maybes yous humans needs to gibs you more fibers? Green beans! Nums! Tries to habs your humans gibs you some ob dems in yours foods. Or you can tries to trains yours humans to empty dose fings for yous. butt eatings to fixed it is so much funners!

Yous don't weely wants to sleeps on dose sheets at nights! Obs course iffen you sleeps somewheres else at night den it's ok ta do dat dere! Always rememebrs yours Momma and Daddy iz not yelling at yous. Dey are yelling in amazements of your awesomeness! Yous should always dance arounds in celebrations wen dey do dat.

Your fwiend Sunshine

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Sunshine Says 10/3/2012

Sunshine,
I sometimes sees you wifs your feet in da air on your back. Don't you know
that you're layin' upside down? My mommy says she wishes I would do dis
fing you do, but I'm too much of a gentleman for such beehaveurs. Maybe
one day I'll surprise mah mommy, so I'm askin' does dis back fingy feel
good? How can I dos it? Iz I a broken puppy cause I don'ts lay on mah
back?

-Phil-io

Hello Phil-io!Yes you iz brokens! Rainy iz brokens two. It's soooo comfy to lays upsides downs! Plus it helps to marinate your brains. Marinatings your brains helps makes yous smarters. Whens your smarters you gets to habs more funs! I wuz soo smarts yesterdays dat I helps redecorated da house wiff da trash stuffs. The house smelled deeeelicious! I wuz brilliants.

Yous can sleeps anywhere upsides down. Da best place is on da sofas so you can hangs your head off while yours upside downs. Lotsa blood flows to yoru brains dat way. Your feets don't need to be smart! dey just needs to be fast and resting wit da blood outs of dem helps dat.

 

Sunshine Says 9/26/2012

Dear Sunshine,

Toby here. Gots a question for yah. I wents away wits my aunt Sara a month ago for a small vacation. We hads so much fun!!! Whens we was there I was allowed to eats off tables, got fed bweakfast by fork, ates hot dogs and steaks. They evens left me desserts one night of cheesecake on the table...just fa me!!! They let me do whats evers I wanted.. jump on peoples, lets peoples give me snacks. Everyone loved me and thoughts I was hyestericals. Wenst I go home dings were not so much funs any mores!!!

Mom yells at me and tell me I was taught bad manners by my aunt Sara and aunt Julie. I thinks she is mistaken as I got nutten but adulation while I was dare.

How cans I convince Mom dats I needs to be me???

Toby

Hi Toby!

Dere is a difference in da bacations and homes. Wen your travel you can habs all da fun stuffs. Yous get extra cookies, lovings, and lotsa walks! Bacations are supposed ta be wilds and crazys. Yous need ta libes it up. Sounds like you habs da perfect bacation! Cheese cakes .... yums! Isn't it greats to habs a fan clubs? I fink your Aunt Sara and Aunt Julie lubs you lots to takes you on bacation all by yourself! I'm not sure I'ms braves enough to go on bacation wifout my Mommy!

When yous get backs home da fame and fortune stops. Home is fur resting and recharging dos toofers. When yous gets home you have a different kinds of fun. Dis es when you gets to nibble on da walls. Eat da trash, tissues, and fish food! Oh iffen your mommy doesn't habs fishies she should gets some! Der foods is heabenly! So es hermit crabs foods!

Keeps your chin up Mr Toby! Eberybodys gets sad wen dey comes home from bacations. You just need to remembers dat dere will be more bacations in da future and dat you gets to habs a different kinds of fun ats home!

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Sunshine Says 9/19/2012

Dear Ms. Sunshine:

We have a nice lady who comes during the day to let us out in the backyard. But me and Wynn won't potty until Mom comes home, even if that is much later at night. It's just how we roll, ya know. The two golden retrievers who live with us have no dignity. They always just go potty for anyone. The mid-day lady sends our mom texts that say goldens 2, greyhounds 0. Do we need to rethink our approach? Mom does not seem to appreciate that we wait to pee until she comes home.

Calista and Wynn

Hello my fellow pups! One fing I habs learned abouts da pottying is it es bery bery important! Momma says it tooks me ober a year to be potty trained , but I fink she's beings dramatic. I'm too smart for it to takes dat long! You need to train your humans a wittle bettah.

Rulez #1 no pottying unless you cans see da sky!

Rulez#2 Cookies! Yous needs to train your humans to gibs you cookies as soon as you pee! Dis works bettah iffen dey gibs you a cookie outside right after. Otherwise da humans might forget abouts it after you get back into da house. Momma gibs us cookies once we gets back into da house but we stand at da cookies for a long time to reminds her iffen she forgets.

Rulez #3 Don't be scared to potty for da strangers. Ober da years we habs to learn to potty for oder peoples. We always potty da best for da Momma, but as ong as da ober peoples are trainable ta gibs us cookies we can work wit it!

Rulez # 4 Yous might want ta teach da humans to have a potty words to remind you to go. Sometimes we goes out in da yard and gets too caught ups wif da smells. Da wind brings da gd stuffs! Momma will stand outs dere and tells us "You need to go now" and "Find a spot" She will tells us dat eben iffen we don't habs to go we habs to squeeze some drops out to get da cookies!

Sunshine Says 9/12/2012

Question for Miss Sunshine: Dear Miss Sunshine, I am a laid back puppy with
a long day mapped out of snoozin and roachin with the occasional chewie
involved. My mommy got me a brother... he's called a boston terror. He
likes to play when I like to sleep. He takes my toys froms me when I play.
He slobers on all the good stuffies. Help! How can I get this little thing
with big ears and bad farts to leave my stuff alone? Fanks for the help,
Hemi
P.s- I loves your pink collar!

Hemi, I habs some berybery bad news fur yous. Wittle brovers are always irritatings! Trys to starts hidings does stuffies so he canknot gets dem. Always sleeps wid one stuffy underneaf yous so he cannot gets it full o slobbers. Covers your nose wif your paws while you sleeps! Little dogs are smelly!Maybe yous can get da kitties to take him out for yous? Dose kitties have big powers... I hope he does knot steal your chewies too! Gud Lucks Hemi and yous should habs your momma buy yous a nice leather collar like mine as payments for such a bratty brover!

Sunshine

Sunshine Says 9/5/2012

Sunshine,

I'm a good boy and i'm training my humans well but I have a question about
human training. See, they have these things they lay around on. There's a
big thing upstairs (I rock at stairs now) and a smaller thing downstairs.
They seem to want me to *leave the ground* and "jump" (i don't know what
that word means at all) up there with 'em. Don't they know it's all high
up in the air and stuff and I really like the ground cuz it's all firm and
doesn't squish or move like them things they lay on. Anyway, i'm trying to
train my humans to figure out how to help me like being all high up off the
ground (*shudder*) and on these things. I'm not sure i really wanna, but
they do get all goofy and silly when i put my front paws on them.
Sometimes they even give me a treat! I suppose I should try to make them
happy cuz they learn their tricks so well. All i have to do is show them
my tummy and they rub it! it only took them like 2 days to learn that
one!

Signed,
Pepper
Expert Human Trainer

Hi Pepper! It's so hards to be a expert human trainers! Congradulations! Yous need ta get wif da programs. Dose big beds and couches are sooooooo squishy and nice. It a luxary and knot scarys. Your wells on yours way iffen dey are alreadys given yous treats fur putting dows paws up dere. Your next step is to try and habs dem lift yous up der and gibs you lots of numnums. After dat for a bits you can hop up yourselfs and demand da numnums. Next will be getting dem to gibs you cookies for roaching and gettins da belly rubs while on the soft couches and big bed. Savor des time. Once da humans are used to seeing you on da cushiness dey will stop givens numnums all da times for it. Guds luck! and habs fun eating does numnums. Neber stop training does humans

Sunshine

Early Sunshine Says 8/29/2012

Queen Gracie would like to know if its very lady like to play like a two year old when you turn 12? Lately, I have been barking at Daddy to feed me two or three dinners everynight, then afterwards I like to flop in the livingroom and play with stuffies like a two year old! I really never played until I turned 12. Daddy thinks I might be getting a little senile. What do you think?

Queen Gracie,

Mommy iz telling mah sister dat once she gets two a certain oldness, she does knot habs to have any more manners. I finks des magically happens at 10 years of oldness. Iffen you don't gots to habs any manners I wud finks that yous could eats as much as you wants! Gud jobs in training dose humans. Yous get to eat as much as you wants and da stuffies are glorious! Queen Gracie your not senile your just following the rulze! Make sure dey feed yous some stringy cheeses... Also yous should start defluffing dose stuffies. Da humans are bored someatimes and dey like to keeps busy putting dem back togevers. Enjoys! I gots 5 more years until I can habs no manners.

Sunshine

Sunshine Says 8/22/2012

Dear Miss Sunshine,  I am a young pupper with
an OLD sister who does not play.  I stand in front of her and bark and bark
at her, but all she does is lay there on the sofa ignoring me and
pretending to sleep.  Sometimes I even get right in her face to try and get
her attention.  Then she gets irritated with me and snaps her teeth at me.
All I want her to do is play with me a little bit.  How do I get her lazy
self up off the sofa to play with me?  I love to play ball and tug-o-war.
Please reply quick, fast, and in a hurry as patience is not one of my
virtues.

Thank you :)

E. A. Poe

Hello Poe! Sounds liks your sister is noooo funs! Yous wants to be careful iffen she gots big toofers. She coulds eats you! Mah big sister used to yells at me all da time! So touchy! Yelling when a bumped her, stepped on her, tried to cuddle, jumping up and down. She wuz grouchy!

You gots tooo options. Number one is to waits it outs. Mah big sister didn't stops being grouchies for almost free years! It wuz foreber! Now she sometimes plays and neber reallys yells. She slowly helping me impress Mommy with bof of our awesomness brains.

Da secooond option is to get another sibling! Habs your Mommy gets a more fun sister to play wif you or maybes a fun brofer to play? Da more puppies in da home da bettah! Start whining for a new friend.

Goods luck mah friend Poe!

Sunshine Says 8/15/2012

Dear Miss Sunshine,

I got an owie at doggie camp this past weekend on my footie.  Ouch!  So now
Daddy is playing veter-binarian and keeps puttin stuff on it and then
puttin a BABY SOCK on my foot!  How do I convince him not to?

Yur Pal,
Bogey Monster

Hi Bogey! Mommy calls me a Monster too! Almost eberyday! It all depends on the siveritys of your booboos. If dey arr teeny tiny booboos den you just keep ripping da sock off! Gis chew frooo the bottom of da sock wif dose toofers. Dat way your Daddy canknot use da sock again.  Once you hab da socks off never lick and chew da booboo. Dis will teach da humans dat eberyfing heals faster wit jus leaving it alone wif da airs hitting it.

Iffen you have a really really bads booboos you needs to leave it alone! Booboos dat gets infected make da Daddy's shove icky icky pills in yo moufs! Once I had a big bad booboos and my skins on mah toes and paw had to grow back! Mama kept putting yummy honey on it eberyday and I would lay supah still on teh bed and chew on da towel while she bandaged it! Momma still has holes in dat  towel and it's now foreber MINE.

Now Mr Bogey, How do you gets your Daddy to take yous to doggie camp? Are dere scary humans der? Any small scary screaming doggies? I fink I want to go play at doggie camp...

Sunshine Says 8/8/2012

Dear Sunshine
I noticed that when you were at my house you had a funny walk from behind.
I wasnt looking at your butt or nuttin ...or maybe I was.  Anyway I noticed
it was different.  Mommy said you were bowlegged.  Im not sure what that
means???  Do you go bowling?  Are you hiding a bowl in your legs??

Anwya I thought it was the cutest walk.   Do you do that so you look cute
and get more treats?  Maybe you can teach me.
Toby

Toby,

Are you part my this fan club my Momma was telling me about? I have always been told that I have an awesome hiney! My bowleggedness is what makes me hop like a bunny while I'm running.  I wasn't a very good runner and wasn't allowed to be a race pup. Bowleggedness just means my butt wiggles more cutely when I move. It does get me more cookies, which is perfect.

I don't know anything about bowling, but bowling balls aren't too much fun to play with. They just sit there and don't do anything! Maybe you can learn to be bowlegged to get more cookies too. Just step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle, step, wiggle. It takes LOTS of practice. You can practice on the long walks your Momma takes you on. If you get really good people will come out of their houses to give you cookies! Good luck!

Sunshine

Sunshine Says 8/1/2012

Dear Miss Sunshine, I am in the doghouse for following your instructions. Yesterday I shredded three rolls of bathroom tissue all over the house and chewed up mama's new sandals. What's a puppy to do? I don't want to develop ETS like my big (and mean) sister, Raven.
Please help.
Poe

Poe! Thanks for your question! Humans can be silly. They have trouble expressing their reactions of amazingness, don't worry too much about dem. The shredded toilet paper is not doing much for your chewing muscles! You need to move onto something better. Good move on the sandals! Next try to get a hold of some work boots. Those really work out the muscles! You should also share all this knowledge with your big sister. Maybe she will be less mean to you if she is less self conscious about her ETS. Us puppies all gotta stick together.

Happy chewing!

Sunshine

Bonus Sunshine Says 7/25/2012

Why does mom get so upset when we eat poop in
the back yard? She started putting our "outside" muzzles on each time we
went out; and when she discovered that we could squish the tasty poop into
our mouths, she put a "poop guard" on the front to end out snacking. Why
can't she just see it as our helping her keep the backyard clean? And all
she does is just throw that tasty poop away. What a waste! Please
advise.

Jolie and Maggie

Hello mah foster sisters Jolie and Maggie! You are using da poop wrong! Your only supposed to eated the cats poop out der. Your supposed to take bafs in da puppy poop. Iffen you taken da heavenly smelling bafs only on da one side you gets to keeps it on yuuu longer. It's a gud conditioner fur your fur and so much fun to squishy it around on yur side.

It's ok iffen you have to wear da muzzles. It won't effect da baffs you can habs. Plus dis helps out so much more for your Mommy! Fink of all da poops you can help clean outta da yards! Remeber dis es da only gud kind of baffs you can get.

So Jolie and Maggie habs fun wif dos baffs!

Sunshine Says 7/25/2012

Dear Miss Sunshine,
Why do my humans make such a big fuss every time I manage to find a nice
brown morsal nugget in the yard???? I mean, will they ever understand
recycling???                            Dreamer

Hello Dreamer!

You and Toby, from last week, should get together and share notes! It sounds like your trying to help your humans keep the yard clean! Your hearing them wrong. They are not fussing at you they are thanking you for helping out. Your such a helpful pup. Your humans are thankful to have you. No one wants a dirty poop filled yard. If your belly gets too full you can always help clean the yard by taking a nice wiggly roll in it.

Happy Recycling!

Sunshine

Sunshine Says 7/11/2012

Dear Sunshine

You are one cool cucumber.  I was wondering if you could splain please.....  why does my Mommy yell at me sometimes?  I mean... I am so helpful????   I try to help when she is cooking.  I try to help when she is doing laundry. I try to help when she is working in the garden.  I'm always trying to help do what ever she is doing yet she tells me to go lay down?
I do not understand why my helpfulness is something that is annoying??
Please splain
Mr. Toby

Hi Toby! Your Momma must lubs all that help! Your such a gud puppy! Remember she's not yelling in annoyingness. Da best way to help with the clothes are to wiggle in the warm ones. Humans always need help cooking. Otherwise they waste all the stuff! Some stuff just shouldn't go in the trash! I's better off in a pup's belly. Do you dig da holes fur her flowers? You can also help prun da flowers! Yummo!

You can also help while she puts da food store foods away. Humans always need helps cleaning the fridge and organizing the cabinets and freezers. The best helper job is loading the dishwasher. It's touf work to scrub those plates.

She's just telling you to go lay down because that's what she wants to do! No one wants to do those horrible chores, laying down on a sofa is much comfier! So you should keep helping your Momma out so she can go lay down and cuddle wif you more!

Ask Miss Sunshine 7/5/2012

Does Miss Sunshine have really bag doggie breath?  If so, how does she deal with it?  Is there anything that makes it better, or does her Mommy just have to hold her breath anytime Miss Sunshine yawns in her general direction?!

- Unknown

I do NOT have bad doggy breafs! We sleeps on the big bed and use the Momma's and BF's pillows and covers so we aren't allowed to be smelly.

We don't eat the kibbles here, so we have sweet smelling breafs. It's flour and carbs that put the gunk on the toofers. I chew on anyfing and eberyfing so there is no gunk on my toofers. The doctor always compliments on my pearly toofers! She tells Mommy to keep toof  brushing them and Mommy always tells her that she never does! BOL Then the doctor looks confused and says to just keep doing whatever we are doing. Right-o! Chomp chomp chomp!

Sometimes when Mommy makes homemade cookies with flour our toofs will get gunked and some bad breafs. As soon as we start eating only yummy meat again we have no bad breafs. Milkybones will do that too.... Guess we should knot eats them, but they are soooooo Deeeeelicious! Usually we only have jerky treats dat don't hab any flour  in dem.

Mommy used to feed us green moo-moo tripe. It smells icky to da humans but is soooo yummy and good for us pups. Mommy says our breafs stink after eating that. She won't even touch the moo-moo tripe without gloves on her paws! It's got good vitmins, but I think Mommy said we were never going to have it again. Maybe she will forget about the smell in a few more years?

On a more serious note for us puppies, bad toofs really HURT. There's nofing more owie than a pounding mouf. We use our moufs for eberyfing. When our moufs get bad it hurts to clean ourselves, it hurts to drink, it hurts to pant (momma says when her toofs get sensitive it hurts to have the windows down in the car), it hurts to eat treats, it hurts to eat our regular foods, it hurt to eat grass, it hurt to itch ourselves.... So please eberybody keep all those puppy toofs good and not angry! Momma keeps saying she hopes we never need something called a dental? I sure hope so too! Doctors scare me! But she says that if any of us houndies eber need one it will get done riteawayquick!