It's strange how the human mind works along with ones emotions. I'm slowly starting to find myself becoming less exasperated and angry at situations. I've always had an analytically understanding at why things are a certain way, but have never been able to let go of the deep down emotions that contradicted that understanding. I'm slowly beginning to let go of the deep rooted anger... Starting to pity the situations and how they became about. It's strange to feel pity instead of the burning anger that I've had for about 23 years. Makes me feel a bit weird.
In the past 2 years I've become so independent it's refreshing. I've been very focused on doing things that I want to do, things that make me happy, things that help me relax. I'm slowly gaining a level of peace inside. I can't fix everything. I can't control everything. I can't stress and worry about everything. Don't get me wrong I still get in my fair share of worrying, but it's a more productive worrying that doesn't consume my life.
Maybe the peace is coming from the realization that certain things are not my fault. People are in the situations they are in due to their personal choices. There is nothing I could have done to alter their choices. All I can do is be responsible for my own actions and choices.
I've known all the above intellectually for a long long time! Funny how it's just sinking in and making sense to my emotions... Oh yes, I'm feeling very grown up!
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